Comedy

Made for the music

The end is approaching. The dark cloud is rolling over us once again. What will we do? People are not prepared for the end. We are not ready. Nothing is more tragic than when the seasonal music festivals are over. What do I do now? How am I going to listen to music that isn’t live? Am I supposed to listen to music with headphones? No way. I mean sure, when I’m at the music festivals, I’m not actually paying attention to the music, but I pretend like I am! I even go as far as to record the most important songs so that everyone knows that I am there. What more can a person do?

I live for music festivals. What is better than thousands of people crammed together with hardly any room to breathe? Nothing. Obviously. I love being in the sweltering heat with no fresh air to breathe. I thrive when I am surrounded by a bunch of other sweaty people with no room to move. I have not met a single person that does not like that. The best is when you combine the immense crowds with a smidge of dehydration. There is no better way to get people to the front of the crowd (because the medics have to pull them out and take them to first aid) than that. It is a real line cutter! Personally I prefer another way to get to the front. I like to camp out for hours and yell at everyone else that tries to get close to the front. How dare they try to get close to my favorite artist? My experience obviously matters so much more than everyone else’s. How rude does someone have to be to not acknowledge that I am more important than them. I spent a lot of money (just as much as they did) so I deserve it and the artist will like me more.

The food at the festivals is to die for. I love paying for overpriced low quality food. Nothing screams, “I had a good time at the music festival,” like coming home after broke from buying water and pizza. If you don’t want to come home broke then you can always just starve yourself until the concert is over. I always try to get water, but a lot of the time the food places will not sell water. Weird, huh? It is almost like they know that you are dehydrated so they offer you water so that you have to come back and buy more drinks. That is absurd though. They would never do that! Anyways, the food at festivals complete the experience. What would a music festival be without long lines for foods, crazy crowds, and people shoving their way to the front. What will I do now? Music will not be the same.

Categories: Comedy